she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
