problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
