i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
