Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
