I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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