Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
