I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That accounts for only three of the penises
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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