what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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