i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
