My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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