he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
