I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
