another moral hangover. fuck.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
