it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize