i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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