im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
