he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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