Well douche your snatch and let's go!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
