dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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