i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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