Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
