And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
