i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
