So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
of course. lets lasso hookers.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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