I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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