I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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