she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
