somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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