i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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