I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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