i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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