She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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