"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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