it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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