his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
