He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
