Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
