I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
