Fuck appropriateness.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
