i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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