We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
