I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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