I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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