Need sex. Gaining weight.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
