Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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