And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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