its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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