i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
