you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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