Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
