Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
