I'm laying in your front yard are you home
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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