Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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