I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
