I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
