Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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