You're so nebulous sometimes
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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