i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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