he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
